Sunday, 21 May 2017

The Three Employees - 19

James Woodcraft
Employee Two (Pointing out the window): Look at that guy over there. Isn’t that him? James Woodcraft?
Employee One: What!? That’s the guy the author fellow is writing about these days?
Employee Two: That’s him all right. He’s the young man who owns a large estate in England.
Employee Three: I hear he's a fool. He just sits around in his mansion all day, doing nothing, but still falls into crazy situations.
Employee One: Really?
Employee Two: Yes. What else are rich foolish young men expected to do?
Employee Three: Exactly. It’s we, the common folk, who have all the brains and who do all the hard work.
Employee Two: Brains? I don’t think you have any and you hardly work!!
Employee One: We should stand together at times like these.
Employee Three: Exactly. I was thinking of finding some other author to write about us. It’s been more than a year since this fellow wrote about us and whatever he wrote about us wasn’t much good either. All his stories just made us look bad. It made people laugh at us.
Employee One: Just at you, mostly.
Employee Three: He has no time to write about us these days but has all the time in the world to follow this rich guy around on his Indian Tour.
Employee Two: He just wants to get more of the guy’s misadventures out of him so that he could write about them.
Employee One: Speaking of his misadventures did you hear of the first story of his? It’s called Muriel and Dave.
Employee Two: I hear that it became a big flop. I heard that the author fellow tried a lot to promote it and even sent it to a lot of his reader groups but he got no response for almost a month!!
Employee One: No one read it and whoever read it did not understand it.
Employee Two: Many didn’t even understand that this fellow, James, was the main character.
Employee One: I think it's about something which happened because this guy forgot the name of his best friend.
Employee Two: That’s just silly. How can anyone forget the name of his best friend?
Employee Three: I don’t blame him there. Sometimes even I forget your names!!
Employee One: Really?! But never mind, you're not actually a friend.
Employee Two: Some of his friends didn’t read his story. Others pretended to have read it. Some who did read it didn’t understand much of it. They asked him to explain a lot of what he had written and they still didn’t understand even after he explained twice!!
Employee One: They say it’s because the story is written in high standard English that people don’t understand.
Employee Two: They used to understand perfectly well when he wrote about us.
Employee Three: Does this mean we are low standard?
Employee One: Do you know anyone who actually read the story?
Employee Three: I read it every day!!
Employee Two: What?! Whose side are you on?
Employee One: What would you understand of the story anyway?
Employee Three: Nothing. I understand nothing of it but the story came as a big relief to me.
Employee Two: What do you mean?
Employee Three: I always have to do some hard reading before I can sleep. I used to read ten pages of some big fat book printed in tiny letters before I managed to fall asleep. But then this story came. It has only four pages printed in normal font but I never make it past the second page!! I take it to bed with me every day and fall asleep almost as soon as I start off with it. No more lifting books that are heavier than me and no mere stressing my eyes with tiny letters. That story is the best thing that ever happened to me. It puts me to sleep better than anything else. Even sleeping pills aren’t as effective!! I wish the author fellow best of luck and hope that he comes up with more of such stories. I want another one ready in case I do finish this one someday!!
Employee One: I don’t think that will happen any time soon!!
-Vijayeendra Theertha

-Ashok Sri Krishna